Boltoph / FAWM 2009 Lyrics and Production/Liner Notes

1. Might As Well

2009-02-02 @ 08:13pm
tags: rock pop alternative rok rough-draft indie vocal

2/4/09: Finished writing and recording vocals tonight. The Mp3 is updated and the lyrics, also. Still might re-record the chorus vocals, there are a couple high notes I sang that can be improved. But for now, I'm moving on, will see how long I can sustain this songwriting and recording binge.

2/2/09: Here's the first version of this song, the vocals are changing a little when I record a final version. I've posted the new vocals below. I'll update these notes, and the MP3 file, as I go. Sorry bout that kick drum, it'll be fixed in the next mix, along with new vocals recorded and probably one other instrument, either a keyboard or another guitar just in a couple places. I also plan on alternating my nasally AT dynamic mic (the one you hear, here) with a regular condenser to bring more contrast to the chorus and better reflect the "shut-in" feeling I'm trying to create in the verses, opening up into a wider, bigger chorus. Here's the 2/1 version with the original vocal idea: http://www.boltoph.com/audio/fawm2009/boltoph_mightaswell_oldvox.mp3

Lyrics

If here is where I am

tell me why I can't get up again

well take one step and look back, wonder when

take one eye and open it

and you might see what I'm trying to be


bent, dry and free

what kind of way down takes us away

well if you want to go I want to go, too

if you put the pedal down, we might escape



On a criminal holiday

feel the song like a waterfall

on you, all things crawl in bed

with a drunken head



How's it feel?

if you make a step better make it right

well the night does all unkindest things to you

when you ain't got nothing and nothing's got you


but if you turn around I swear I'll hit the ground

if you make it a sadder day than it already is

many are all gone and many will be lost

who believes the day anyway



If you're so good

why do we fall?

down and down
hit a wall every way we go
if you say so, might as well



(guitar solo)



If here is here and now

I don't know how to get up anyhow

so I don't think I'm going anywhere

but just in case, you tie me to the chair

and if I try to get up you just hit me in the head

just as well, I might as well be dead

© 2009 Yawfukt (ASCAP)


2. Swing Low

2009-02-01 @ 05:55pm
tags: pop rock alternative morphine slide bass ethereal

2/6/09 (in the evening): Finished vocals and updated the link with the new mix. There's alot of bass sort of intentionally, it could be too much, we'll see. Now I've gotta go finish up Lab Rat. L8r

2/6/09: Wrote and recorded rough lyrics for this last night. Had a tough time at first but then latched onto a few phrases that are actually making me feel good about this one. Listened to Morphine for two hours yesterday in preparation. I've even copped some of Morphine's song titles into the lyrics. Recording a polished up version tonight and then will post the lyrics and the updated mix.

2/1/09: In honor of Mark Sandman and Morphine. Slide bass. Vocals are coming via big vocal session this weekend. Lyrics are partially written. I'll post them here when I get a rough version laid down on the recording, and I'll update the recording as well.

Lyrics

Swing low, my friend
swing low
tip a glass, spill the sand

Thought I saw you
on the edge of a world wrapped in blue
wish I knew you
wish we'd had the time to sit down and talk this through

But I was wrong
never had the tongue
to speak the words right
but I was wrong, dead wrong
all wrong

When the sun shines on down
and I hear your song
I can hear your bleeding heart
and it burns my soul
so cold

Thought I saw you
slipping over the ice
and then falling through
and following through

But I was wrong
how many triggers pulled?
pages torn up
all wrong
but all she wrote isn't gone
all she wrote is a song
and I listen with my soul

Thought I heard you
screaming at the top of your lungs
I swear I heard you

Swing low, my friend
swing low, through the end

© 2009 Yawfukt (ASCAP)


3. She Won't Stay Away

2009-02-26 @ 09:55pm
tags: pop country folk acoustic fun alt-country

2/26/09: Completed my goal of two songs written and recorded today. Busy night over here! This one is like the fun little bouncy one that I'm really psyched I just wrote. Here's just a demo for you with a little acoustic guitar, cajon, tambourine, a little bit of harmonica, and vocals. This song's about a little friend of mine and yours, hope someone digs this.

Lyrics

I saw heaven walking on the grass,
looked like a pretty girl in a pretty green dress
I said, I'll call her Mary Jane
and I sure get randy when she looks at me

Oh, I know she makes home
oh, I know she makes home warmer
she makes home-grown

Shining like a crazy diamond in the sun
struttin' and struttin her stuff to everyone
couldn't stop staring, couldn't look away
and neither could my brother or his brother and his friend Jay
...and now we're just sittin' here, sittin' in a daze

Oh, I know she makes home warmer
cover me in a daydream so I won't know
cover me in a daydream so I won't care

Well, I got crazy and I started with a scream
but she come runnin' back and set me right back, green
some people hide, some look away
but when I see her coming I get ready to stay

Oh, I know she makes home warmer
she makes home-grown

She won't let the daydream fade
she won't let the daydream fade
she won't stay away

Got a feelin' everything's gonna be just fine
I'm getting up and getting back in line
to get a piece of heaven
a little piece of heaven
living in a dream

© 2009 Yawfukt (ASCAP


4. My Demon

2009-02-28 @ 07:21pm
tags: blues jazz rock demon electric-guitar guitar-rock explicit distorted-vocals

2/28/09: My second to last; my rock song. All about a second, darker side of one's self. Rocking it out to keep it real. Ran the tube pre too high on the vocals, but that'll be fixed once I get a chance to give the recording the time it needs...

Lyrics

My demon
spoke to me today
left an ear infection
so unfeeling
and blacker than the coal like its heart
blacker than the coal
I gave in
twisted fucking negative

My demon
snuggled up to me like sunlight
it seemed like an invitation
to the love of my life
and blacker than the coal in its heart
I gave in
and now I'm bleeding crooked blood

Pins & needles
in my palms and my feet
I walk and I wonder
you walk and I leave
I leave

My demon
swore to me today
it'd make everything right
and what could I say
but blacker than the coal in its heart
blacker than the coal
I gave in
twisted fucking negative

Pins & needles
in my palms and my feet
you walk and I wonder
you walk and I leave

give it up for my demon
throw it all away with my demon

© 2009 Yawfukt (ASCAP)


5. Crown of Stone

2009-02-28 @ 07:20pm
tags: pop folk folk-rock folk-pop sunny-day wide-open cajon guiro acoustic-pop acoustic

2/28/09: A little sentimental folk piece, a demo recording with all acoustic instruments, except for the guiro and the congas. Nearing the end...

Lyrics

Open handed
photographs so old, can't stand it
fallen memories
don't deny me
the comfort I fight for
always leaves

The fire died down and left me burning
all alone, like a fool with a crown of stone
come back to me, my sweet one
come back to me, my endless dawn
come on now, it's been too long
I'm getting cold and lonely
and all this likeness
stretches its open fist to collect my sadness
all this mess
cleans itself up, anyway

All along
don't know where we went wrong
frustration
don't stand it
push back, know no limit
fallen memories fade

The fire died down and left me burning
all alone, like a fool with a crown of stone
come back to me, my sweet one
come back to me, my endless dawn
come on now, it's been too long
I'm getting cold and lonely
and all this likeness
stretches its open fist to collect my sadness
all this mess
cleans itself up, anyway
come back to me, my sweet one
come back to me, my endless dawn
come on now, it's been too long
I'm getting cold and lonely

Bugs inside of me
can't work themselves free
I've got to let them eat
sometimes glitters through
open shutters
so hover over me
I'd like tomorrow's soul
to help me grow old
can't stop the bitter cold
so open up your door
and this crown will fall off my head
just like I said
just like you wondered
just like I said
fall off my head
just like I said

© 2009 Yawfukt (ASCAP)


6. Blackout

2009-02-08 @ 08:24pm
tags: alt-country alternative pop country vocals acoustic

2/8/09: Wrote and recorded acoustic guitars, scratch vocals, and a bit of harmonica last night. Recorded and finalized lyrics today, and laid down a bit of drums, congas, and bass. For me part of the fun process is the recording so sometimes, I record right away and write the lyrics as I go. Other songs, I write with notebook and pen but this one was a merging of the writing and recording process. Excited to keep this album going, it's going to be tough to be as aggressive as I was the first week, most of the recordings moving forward are going to be barer and with less instrumentation but I had time today so I gave the time to this tune. Was influenced by Des, to do some acoustic guitar harmonics. Hope someone enjoys!

Lyrics

The sun is going down
pretty soon the country will be sleeping
slipping away
what if the sun goes down forever,
if vampires come out
what if the moon is full every night,
what if we miss out?

Longer than you'd ever know
I've been sitting here, watching the wind blow
waiting, awake

But what you don't understand are your limits
what you don't want to know
what you can't see is something that moves so slow

Longer than you'd ever know
I've been sitting here watching the time go
what would you do, what would you wonder?
what would you do, would you wonder?

Blackout, in the middle of full sunlight
back up, fall down
don't need to know what was really right
don't need to feel an even rhythm
blackout, fall down, down

You never knew what was coming

The sun is going down in the country
just like it goes down in the city
what if the moon is full every night,
what if we miss out?

Blackout, in the middle of full sunlight
back up, fall down
don't even need to know what's missing
don't even need to know what's right
blackout

© 2009 Yawfukt (ASCAP)

 


7. Face Value

2009-02-18 @ 10:54pm
tags: rock pop alternative indie emo electric-guitar drums bass rock-n-roll

2/18/09: Wrote and recorded tonight. Started out as an electric guitar jam, just humming an idea, then recorded the guitar, recorded vocals, then drums, another guitar, and bass. Most of the lyrics were jotted in my notepad before I recorded the guitar but it changed as I recorded. Gotta hear the music to come up with the idea. Was just gonna post quick guitar/vox demo but got pumped and just had to hear drums/bass/distorted guitars in the chorus. yeah! Hopefully I'm back on track to finish this album.

Lyrics

Double me up, count me in
there's alot of the world you ain't been
when it takes all you've got
to find a spot that's not quite right
but if it feels ok, you just stay

But if you look harder, if you stare
if you take it all at face value

You might see there's a door open, there
can you knock, can you come in, is anything fair?
but when it takes all you've got
is anything right, is everything not?
bitter the day when the edges fray

But if you look harder, if you stare
if you take it all at face value you might
get there
I don't know where I have to bring you
I don't know what I've gotta say but I really can't wait
and in a funny, funny way
it's the perfect hideaway
and we can finally find a whim

Holding on to the moment
holding on to the abstract

Like a train moving on
don't know where it goes, it just keeps rolling
like an animal inside that comes out, comes out at night
in the instant you know something's right

If you look harder, if you stare
if you take it all at face value you might
get there
honored to have the chance to bring you here
I don't know if I'm gonna stay, but I can't wait!
and in a funny, funny way
it's the perfect hideaway
where we can finally find a way in
find a way in

© 2009 Yawfukt (ASCAP)


8. Climbing the Wall

2009-02-02 @ 08:35pm
tags: pop folk art-rock melancholy urgent

2/4/09: Recorded the instruments last night and vocals tonight. Originally I was going to add percussion, a couple congas halfway through, a tambourine sparingly on the chorus, and possibly another percussion instrument, but I kind of like this barer version so I think I'm going to leave this alone for a while and give a few more listens on different stereos and speakers.

2/2/09: Wrote this one on the acoustic guitar after finishing rough recording work for "Might As Well" tonight. I have a feeling this song is going to be the last song on my album, I'm planning on using an organ for the bass, and a couple acoustic guitars, one with delay. This song is going to be a slow but emotionally-heavy song, I'm not sure what to compare it to because it has elements of classical music behind it but was written as more of a folk song. It's about good things lost to bad times, and especially about not letting things go when they're already gone. Hoping to get time to do a rough recording this weekend.

Lyrics

Lost highway, drunken sway
eggshell covers breaking down
double tumbler, empty glass
waiting for doors to open

I see sinking in your face
I see something there that I can't understand
slide past the exit, out
slide, pass the exit, out...out

Climbing the wall at a dead end
Pinocchio to honest feeling
a swagger for every friend
who never felt this way, never going to
I walk, sometimes wonder
if we're all on the way out
throw a gutter ball
throw it long
but don't fall down or you'll never get up again

I smell winter on your breath
I taste something bare, sharp and bitter
slide past the exit, out
slide, pass the exit, out....out

I see sinking in your face
I see something there that I'll never understand
slide past the exit, out
slide, pass the exit, out....out

© 2009 Yawfukt (ASCAP)


9. Cows

2009-02-28 @ 10:55pm
tags: folk pop country harmonica cows soss coming-home

2/28/09: The last one, the cows are comin' home. Since this was my last FAWM 2009 song written and recorded tonight, I just wrote and recorded to a feeling I wanted to hear and an idea of general life outlook and seeing things as beautiful.

Lyrics

When the cows are all coming home
everything we know is torn and old
when we've been walking for many miles
on a lonely road
somehow we know
all the cows will eventually come home

When we're doused in a soaking nothing
and the world births a wicked son
I'll hope the clock holds someone's love
and the wind is warm
and the water besides, it keeps flowing

If everything we know is gone
everything we say is wrong
if I take the chance to think
of a better pawn
he sure ain't me
but time's still got the best of him

I might be falling in
I might falling out

Well if the cows are all coming home
someday we might know
a better side of tomorrow
and we might feel okay

© 2009 Yawfukt (ASCAP)


10. Rangoon

2009-02-24 @ 06:26pm
tags: jazz funky blowers soss china duck-sauce

2/24/09: Second of the Feb. 15th jam with Jima on drums. For this one we did a scratch acoustic and tambourine with a room mic to structure out the song, and that is the acoustic guitar and shaker you hear towards the left, throughout the song. This one's about the Chinese restaurant up the street from my house, called the Golden Pacific. There's a guy that drinks hard there every day and the song is about him sitting there getting drunk at that restaurant, and also about the fact that we picked up a PuPu platter after we recorded, and we dipped and enjoyed some Crab Rangoons. Again, this one is recorded while I am 95% fully nasally congested and the mix and performance are strictly a rough cut, a demo. But this one was a lot of fun. So it's about how this guy Jima knows drinks hard at the G.P., and we eat hardcore PuPu platters.

Lyrics

Fold it up
drop it in
dip it down
toss it around
fold it up
drop it in
dip it

Blowers tosses back
one too many sosses
liver attacks
he sits alone, with his big nose
down at the G.P., baby

Fold it up
drop it in
dip it down
toss it around
fold it up
drop it in

Down at the G.P.
Blowers throws back many sosses
down at the G.P.
he is indulging in many a soss

Fold it up
drop it in
dip it down

No one knows how he really feels
no one cares

Fold it up
drop it in
dip it down
toss it around
fold it up
drop it in
dip it down

© 2009 Yawfukt (ASCAP)


11. If You Wake Up

2009-02-14 @ 08:16pm
tags: acoustic blues jazz alternative whistling-solo

2/14/08: It's been a busy week and I haven't been able to get much recorded but I wrote this one on Thursday the 12th. Here's just a recorded demo, one acoustic guitar, two vocals, and some congas. Was interested in trying out a few different chord changes. Wanted to go for the time sig. change but couldn't quite pull it off; but there's a whistling solo in this one. My first ever whistling solo, that is. I'm going to have to think about what kind of instruments would be best for the final recording of this one.

Lyrics

Are you willing, are you able?
are you alive?

In a little box, that's where you put your dreams
when you hold them, when you hold on and you're tearing at the seams
it's just an echo of a scream that haunts you
and the air around you breathes
in a little fox-trot, you walk across the hall
I can't help but stare and stare and stare a little more
it's just the echo of my conscience that looks away
recommendation of common sense

If you wake up someday from a daydream that never ends, will you exist?
if you wake up someday and it's all gone, maybe then you will know what you missed

By and by we try our hand, throwing down aces and kings
throwing it away for the feeling of a better thing
and live a little more, believe a little stronger

If you wake up someday and it's all gone, maybe then you will know what was wrong
if you wake up from your daydream someday, the haunting will only be stronger

(whistling solo)

If you wake up from this daydream and hold on to real things, I know you'd be sure
sure of yourself, while the world sits alone on its shelf
if you get up and in the flame of someday, carve a hole in this world, cut the cord

Wake up, if you wake up

© 2009 Yawfukt (ASCAP)


12. Lab Rat

2009-02-01 @ 05:47pm
tags: pop rock alternative slide acoustic rok country folk

2/7/09: Finished writing and recording vocals. Also added a rhodes and lead guitar. Updated the mp3 link with the new version. It ended up being more just about the lab rat and less about the metaphor I was mentioning earlier.

2/5/09: Rough vocal ideas recorded tonight. Haven't updated the MP3 file but will be, this weekend, once I polish up the vocal tracks. The theme is about a Lab Rat, as a metaphor for a person who works in a cubicle at a large company.

2/1/09: Vocals written but not yet recorded, going to try and record them the weekend of the 7th, and post a new version with lyrics. Also, the drum mix is too loud right now, and the slide, too low. This is just the first working version. I was trying out mid/side technique for drum overheads and this is a bit of a demonstration of the weirdness of the overhead L/R tone, right now. For posterity's sake, here's the original mix: http://www.boltoph.com/audio/fawm2009/boltoph_lab_roughnovox.mp3

Lyrics

Everything I've ever known
are these walls
and the occasional nibble of a stale bone
all out of pride
shaken down and crawling
when the hand that feeds is the same hand
that makes me want to run and hide

The only world I'll ever know
is a solitary home
only pain is true
and I'm still holding on
still holding out for you

Each sliver of pale light
and every god-awful smell
keeps me focused on my hell
wish I could feel
something else besides this pain
wish there was something else here that was real

The only light that ever shines
is the paralyzing kind
blinding my eyes
and burning my mind

(rök)

Everything I've ever known
is this cold
and the occasional cancerous growth
wish I could feel something besides the pain
of a cold needle
and an intravenous meal

The only home I'll ever know
I'll ever know
is a cold painful hole
but I'll never know
I'll never know
just a cold painful hell
but I can never tell
I'll never know
and it'll never go

© 2009 Yawfukt (ASCAP)


13. Franco

2009-02-24 @ 06:13pm
tags: folk alternative country acoustic friends greasy rough-demo

2/24/09: This started as a jam with my friend and drummer Jima, on 2/15. We sat down with an acoustic guitar and shaker/tambourine and a room mic, and structured out two song ideas, then played drums and bass. You can still hear the shaker and original guitar on the left, in the beginning. I finally got around to recording the lyrics today, and here it is. This song's about a cafe in Back Bay that we refer to as the greasy spoon. Greasy, but still a favorite and I'm a big fan of the owner. I have a nasty flu so my vocals for this song, and for the rest of my fawm songs that I get done in time, are going to have stuffy sounding vocals. My chances of completing the 14 songs are severely lessened after spending this past weekend bedridden with 101+ degree fever. At least I just noticed that the 28th is a Saturday, which is a nice surprise. That gives me a solid Friday night and Saturday to power out the last 4 or 5 songs. With this song and Rangoon ready, there might still be a chance for me!

Lyrics

Oh Franco

My friend Franco, he cures all ills
even though he's a little bit greasy, he's got the will
even though he smells like eggs, I love him anyway
he's my friend, and he's your friend, too

He's a good man, Franco
he pays the bills
but Paco never quite does him right
and Papa, well he's so uptight
why does everyone always want to fight?

You get your fix, you get your heart attack
you get what you came for, and then you go
you get your fix, you get your heart attack
you get what you paid for, and then some
and then some more

It doesn't matter if it's busy,
Franco still takes care of everyone

That guy, Franco, he pays the bills
my friend Franco, he gives you your fill
my friend Franco
Paco never quite does him right
and Papa, well, he's so uptight
I give it up for my friend Franco
for my friend Franco
I give it up, I give it all up
Franco, here's some change for your cup
Fill it up

© 2009 Yawfukt (ASCAP)


14. Count Me Out

2009-02-26 @ 06:58pm
tags: blues jazz folk folk-rock woolly-synth harmonica

3/1/09: Played some drums today so added those into the mix, to enhance the demo recording. Definitely not a final drum track, I'm off-of-the-beat pretty bad in a couple places. If there's any song in my fawm 2009 album that I want to put a bunch of weird effects and synths on, it's probably this one.

2/26/09: Here's a rough demo, this is a bit bare but there's a woolly synth and a harmonica!

Lyrics

Ha!
where were we
when the idea escaped
how long to see?

My dear road
what'd you say?
let's go far away
let our wheels spin
and spin all day
I know you'll bring me something
that I haven't had yet
I'm still alive
somewhere inside
a flame burning,
burns me out

Thinking of this
makes me unable to rest
in this coffin
and burn
hoping for hope is the best guess
I can make so far
so let's go

Let's just go
get in the car
don't look back
you just take the wheel
and put your foot on the gas
I know life will finally find us
I know nothing's fair
but something's there
if you feel it
if you can deal with it
let's just pick up and go

But if we end up in a ditch
will someone come pull us out?
if the end is in sight and we can't stop
if we're facing a brick wall and I can't see
if my eyesight is gone, will you hit the brake?

Well it's a long way down
and I don't feel like falling in
when the rain pours on
and we're already soaked through the skin

But if the idea is to get caught up
and if the idea is to be strung out
if the only way to save us is to crawl in and hide,
count me out
count me out!

© 2009 Yawfukt (ASCAP)